I wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEAR at the beginning of 2024 first and foremost, because I really meant it.
I'd hoped everybody had had a fantastic, restful and rejuvenating festive season and that 2024 was a clear view, a verdant vistas of fantastic abundance in sight for all.
I was personally feeling positive and hopeful despite having a profound life moment happen.
I met my Father for the first time on July 5th, 2023. He passed away on December 10th 2023, aged 77. I'm 54 years old, so it was a long wait... 158 days we walked the planet in full knowledge of each others connection confirmed.
I was in Brockwell Park capturing the cities natural world on my mobile for something, I didn't know what at the time, but I started to casually fit images together in a some sort of coherent way that seemed poetic.. when I unexpectedly needed to write words. I then recorded the audio of my voice...edited the words to the moving visual images... and burst into tears.
AND MY FATHER We were meant to meet
Through a dna search service
We really were those passing ships
Passing souls, passing.
We were meant to meet
Through a dna search service
You knew me as Poet, how, I am yet to discover
But you knew about me.
Bought my plane ticket 2 days later
I arrived with the calm of the philosophical present,
unencumbered by the past - it is what it is, you know.
No questions. No demands. Just Love.
We were meant to meet
Meant to know each other's voice
Have the timbre of each other's tones of relief, curiosity,
wander around our middle ears
Be in the proximity of each other's scent
Know the soft felt of each other's hands
Our palms meeting in a clasp
That had crossed time - 54 years since I'd held your little finger.
You threw your head back and laughed at new-born me
With that funny little laugh Mum said you had.
Which you did have, and which I heard
and held like the Earth re-sounding
Almighty God blessed Yes, as a puzzle piece dropped
from a great height into my chest
when I finally met you
'My twin', you said.
"I know God loves me," you said. Twice.
Three times.
You started a sentence with “I remember,” and
I tried not to hold my breath -
"Meeting your mother at - "
You couldn't remember at first.
Searched with cloudy eyes,
glancing over the indefinite
Landing on the certain - "THE Q CLUB!"
That's right. The Q Club. Confirmed.
You lit up and I flipped a back-flip inside
And it was all made real cos you nodded and smiled, and
All I could do was take your hand again
As you slipped into sleep, faded into warmth
Drooped into comfort snoozing - she made it.
She found us.
Always knew I would. Just not when.
And then a few phone calls
We spoke about blood sugar levels
about feeling better than yesterday
and how lonely is a lonely thing.
About staying positive
And about how I talked made words
mean something different
and about that day at that house.
Those few calls, when you spoke fast out of nerves
then slowed your roll
so our connection could catch up
Make me happy, because
if I'd not known how to fret for a second parent - making sure
they were eating right -
I'd not have been able to enjoy the day
I spoke to my Mother and my Father,
the Atlantic Ocean and dozen life times apart,
both having a good day.
~ Z ~
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